march
march 1st, 2023
normally i dread summer, but lately i've been really excited for it. maybe that's because i normally spend most (if not all) of summer break alone in my house. but this summer i'm doing so much that it might be just as terrible in the opposite way. at the same time though, i kind of want to completely exhaust myself this summer. i want to do everything and feel every emotion i possibly can. even though i'm excited, i am still dreading summer a little bit because that means time is going by. sort of unrelated but actually not at all, i think it's really hard for me to enjoy things because i know they're gonna end. sometimes i don't even do things that i want to do because i know they'll end. but at the same time i know that's not good and everything's way better if you're not so worried about it ending. but i can't stop!!!!!!
✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩
i think i'm really really bad at communicating with people. i just assume everyone magically knows all of my thoughts (i wish i could magically see everyone else's!!!). but also maybe i communicate badly on purpose?? i'm sososososo scared of embarrassment or saying something stupid that i say a tiny bit of what i actually mean and then let everyone assume the rest. i wish i knew how everyone saw me at every second!!! because i can't i just make up how i think they see me and it's terrifying to think that's not actually how they see me???
✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩
songs
Climbing Up the Walls - Radiohead
Not Strong Enough - boygenius
normally i dread summer, but lately i've been really excited for it. maybe that's because i normally spend most (if not all) of summer break alone in my house. but this summer i'm doing so much that it might be just as terrible in the opposite way. at the same time though, i kind of want to completely exhaust myself this summer. i want to do everything and feel every emotion i possibly can. even though i'm excited, i am still dreading summer a little bit because that means time is going by. sort of unrelated but actually not at all, i think it's really hard for me to enjoy things because i know they're gonna end. sometimes i don't even do things that i want to do because i know they'll end. but at the same time i know that's not good and everything's way better if you're not so worried about it ending. but i can't stop!!!!!!
✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩
i think i'm really really bad at communicating with people. i just assume everyone magically knows all of my thoughts (i wish i could magically see everyone else's!!!). but also maybe i communicate badly on purpose?? i'm sososososo scared of embarrassment or saying something stupid that i say a tiny bit of what i actually mean and then let everyone assume the rest. i wish i knew how everyone saw me at every second!!! because i can't i just make up how i think they see me and it's terrifying to think that's not actually how they see me???
✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩
songs
Climbing Up the Walls - Radiohead
Not Strong Enough - boygenius